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Desk Jockeying: FBI Puts Out The Call For 'Cyber Security Furniture'


If you're going to fight in the Cyber Front, you're going to want the most up-to-date office chairs. Here's an unlikely use of federal tax dollars, as spotted by the EFF's Dave Maass: "FBI Cyber Security Furniture."

Disappointingly, the FBI isn't actually looking for something along the lines of Matrix dental exam chairs for office drones to monitor... uh... multiple monitors during crucial cyber operations. Instead, the FBI is looking for standard office furniture to furnish its new Colorado cyber security office.

But the scope of work doc [PDF] indicates not just any office furniture will do. On the FBI's Cyber Titanic, reshuffle-ability of deck chairs is crucial.

The furniture solution for the workspace (individual and team) is expected to be adjustable, adaptable and easily interchangeable into different configurations as required by the work force.

[...]

Technology will be integrated at all levels of the project. Furniture must be adaptable to the continuously changing technology solutions required to maintain a collaborative, mobile, and sustainable work environment.

In total, the FBI is looking for 24 workstations, 30 office chairs, and an out-of-the-box "STEELCASE Private Office" [pictured below].

THE PRIVACY VIOLATIONS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE OFFICE!

If any vendors carry something more cybertastic than what's described in the request, they are cordially disinvited from responding. The FBI is going sole-source and pouring federal dollars back into the local economy.

The General Services Administration has a new requirement that it intends to sole source for New Steelcase and Mayline Office Furniture from Officescapes, LLC a local dealer in Colorado.

The sole-source provider won't have it easy, though. The demands for bog standard office furniture are far more rigorous than most demands for off-the-shelf solutions. It needs to do far more than prevent FBI cyber warriors from having to perform their duties sitting on the carpet. The new furniture must also work as a "quality of life patch" for the field office. Here's part of a long list of things purchased furniture is expected to do:

Improv[e] work/life balance Attract and retain the best talent

Hopefully no employees signed with the new Cyber Security office in hopes of being part of the office of the future. Team Cyber (Denver, CO) will be doing its work in the more familiar "office of the present," with all of its boring chairs, workstations, and conspicuous lack of monitor-covered walls.


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